Waving to my deepest self
How Daily Rituals and Mindful Practices Help Align Our Lives with Our True Essence
"Men are not free when they are doing just what they like. Men are only free when they are doing what the deepest self likes."
This insight from D.H. Lawrence serves as a reminder that true freedom lies in aligning our daily actions with our deepest, most authentic selves, rather than merely indulging in the superficial.
There’s plenty of time for superficial, and trust me, I indulge.
However…
I don’t know if it’s my age, (48) but my deepest self has been calling out to me for the past five years.
It began as a whisper, growing more insistent as I moved further away from her. Then, it came on real heavy when my body plunged into issues of panic and anxiety, culminating in a year-and-a-half-long manic episode that resulted in a bipolar 2 diagnosis.
Suddenly, my deepest self was screaming, “Help!”
So I wrote her a play. A musical, actually.
To answer the calling of my deepest self, I find that satisfying this unique, ever present, relentless, human urge requires an excavation of daily routines, a shedding of old habits, and a trial period of “trying on” new daily rituals. I use the word ritual, because this suggests that the work is specific and focused on my spiritual growth.
These new practices help to fulfill the deep yearning I feel, we all feel, as we grow.
Anything that allows my deepest self to touch the surface a few times a day can provide an ointment, a salve, that comforts this essential part of us.
My theory (and I’m not saying anything that you don’t know) is that we are all too crazed, too constantly in motion, always looking at a small digital box in front of us.
Our deepest self is crying out to be expressed, but it’s so muffled and drowned out by the digital landscape that we are, quite literally, drowning.
So, I’ve created a few daily rituals to help my deepest self be recognized, allowing us to move through the day together in harmony.
Some days are better than others, but here are a few things I do:
I meditate.
It’s nothing big. In fact, it’s the opposite of big.
This is a short practice I engage in first thing in the morning when I wake up. I sit up and meditate, often with a heat pack to warm up my insides and alleviate my arthritis. The session isn’t overly long—about 5, 10, or 15 minutes—but it’s consistent. I’m on day 867 of this practice, maintaining a streak I never want to break. (Can you tell I’m proud of this? I tell EVERYONE I know.)
The grandness of this ritual has finally stuck with me, and it's the commitment to this process that my deepest self is grateful for. I can tell she approves.
My biggest deterrent in life is commitment. I don’t particularly like it—or at least I think I don’t. So, when I do commit to slow, sustaining, selfless work, my deepest self feels acknowledged.
I read every day.
My deepest self thanks me for taking the time to engage in something as old as time itself. When I read words that other deepest selves have written, my own deepest self recognizes them as her own.
I think of these words as teachers.
Teachers and gurus that have come to find me. And I hope that my words here, from my deepest self, will find you.
I do something creative every day, even if it's very small.
It could be rearranging the bookcase to reflect my mood, playing the piano for ten minutes before taking my daughter to her guitar lesson, writing an article for my website, giving someone a favorite book recommendation, or saying hello to a neighbor I don’t know and having a real conversation.
These are all things that my deepest self craves.
Acknowledging, honoring, or simply waving hello to this deepest self is the key to my sustaining a creatively spiritual life.
By giving this self the recognition it craves, I nurture my inner creativity and maintain a fulfilling, spiritually enriched existence.
