I love a good streak.

Mar 27

Streaks.

Today marks day one of a 100 day writing project.

Deep down, I want to be a writer.

And I guess I am a writer. I have two published plays and I’m working on a third.

But I’m also an actor, a voice coach, trying to be a creativity coach (who isn’t?), a part-time web designer, a producer of concerts, a funeral singer, a mom, a wife, a dog mom, a person with a chronic illness (and I love to mention that to anyone I know), a this, a that. Just everything.

The most difficult thing for me to be is…anything.

Because I want to be everything.

I’m an extrovert (I crave being an introvert), I’m a seven on the Enneagram. (If you know, you know.) I’m a person with Bipolar 2 Disorder. I don’t heavily identify with that so much anymore, as I think we crave diagnoses, because they offer certainty. An identity. A way to explain myself.

My psychiatrist told me a few years ago, that I’m probably not even a 2 on the Bipolar Scale, but to think of it more like a sliding scale, similar to how they are now classifying Autism Spectrum Disorder.

In ten or twenty years, he suspects they will increase the scale. So, I now like to think of my Bipolar 2 disorder as something more akin to Bipolar 7. It’s not scientific, it’s just true. To me.

The problem is I have so many ideas. Too many ideas.

They swim in my head and they throttle my life.

The gears in my head grind non-stop and it’s fucking exhausting.

In order to survive this avalanche of thoughts (someday’s are better than others), I have to put structures in place. When I’m at my best I pick one, two, or three things to accomplish that day.

Similar to a daily exercise ritual, my life feels enriched when I am writing.

I spent four years writing the book, music, and lyrics to a musical about my unraveling in early midlife.

I got better.

Now I’m starting to get worse.

I’m potentially starting to unravel again. In many ways, I’m better off than I was six years ago. I learned so much from writing a full musical about myself.

I learned what it feels like to be honest on the page.

I learned that others feel seen when you share your problems, as long as you’re really truly being honest.

If you’re faking it, and telling them something untrue, then they despise you. I’ve had my fair share of this.

Side note: Some people despise you anyhow, and there is nothing you can do about that. I’ve finally begun to put some boundaries in my life. I don’t need to be friends with everyone. It’s for sure one of the hardest things I’ve come to an agreement with myself on. It is so pedantic to hear your mom say “Not everyone is gonna like you”...but it’s the truth.

Do it anyway.

I’m talking to myself, not to you. Although, if you need to hear that, then please hear it.

Do it anyway. Because I hate to break it to you, but we’re all gonna die.

This time around, I have something that I didn’t have five years ago. 819 days of meditation.

A meditation streak of 819 days.

Streaks are powerful.

The power of streaks has been circling around the zeitgeist for a long while.

Jerry Seinfeld is linked to the idea of "streaks" for improving habits and productivity. This comes from a famous story where he supposedly advised a young comedian to write jokes daily and mark an X on a calendar each day he did it. The aim was to keep making Xs without skipping a day, creating a visual line of Xs that helps stay motivated and responsible. Don’t take it from me, take it from here, here, and here.

However, Jerry Seinfeld has said this story might be more myth than true, as he doesn't remember giving that advice. So there ya go.

You could read 1000, 100,000, 1,000,000 books on the power of habit. And believe me, I have read them all. Okay, maybe more like 85 of them. But give me another 100 days.

Anything Cal Newport is inspirational. Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout," "A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload," "Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World," "Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World," "The Time-Block Planner: A Daily Method for Deep Work in a Distracted World," "So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love".

God I love Cal Newport. I would love to be a tenured professor, who thinks and writes for a living. Doesn’t that sound so romantic? Plus, he’s not on social media. Triple romantic.

I confess to a peculiar fascination with productivity experts, predominantly men, which is a point of reflection for me. I often find myself anticipating the moment they reveal their assholeness.

I admit, I fell in love with Andrew Huberman, before he even launched his podcast: but I've taken a step back. I didn’t really know why I was starting to become disillusioned by his work. A certain God-like personality started to emerge and so, I wasn’t really surprised when the New Yorker Magazine article came out, exposing his human flaws. If he wants me to write a musical about it, I’m available.

I’m just waiting for Peter Attia. I say that jokingly, but I guess…yeah, I’m waiting.

And so, I begin a writing streak.

I was inspired by ****GASP**** a woman! Hooray! Anne-Laure Le Cunff who I’ve just handed over my email address to. It was this article titled “Writing is the best personal growth tool” that inspired me.

In the hope that it’ll ground me back into a rhythm I seem to have lost in my life.

That it’s something I can indeed commit to.

I’m not going to put any rules or restrictions out there.

No amount of words. I suppose it could be one sentence, three sentences, or six thousand words.

My only rule is that it has to be the truth.

100 Days.

See you on the other side.